From The Recordings Html

Quite a few years ago when I wrote this song The Darwin Awards were just occasional emails that heralded the latest round of award winners and their heroic efforts to improve the human gene pool by creatively removing themselves from it. Since then, the idea has really caught on and spawned a website and several books!

Lyrics

DARWIN'S PRIDE & JOY

You went to the desert this weekend to practice with your new shotgun
By blowing big holes in saguaro cactus -- You thought it was lots of fun
And, of course, you were tweaking as usual, half out of your brain on meth
You put one too many rounds at the base of a big one
He fell on you and crushed you to death
Oh, well...

Darwin would have been so proud
Yeah, Darwin would have been so proud
The way that fate shot you right out of the gene pool
Darwin would have been so proud

You were lounging around in your lawn chair, wishing you knew how to fly
When suddenly you had a flash of brilliance, figured you should give it a try
A dozen large balloons full of helium lashed to that lawn chair tight
Next thing you knew you were cruising above 10,000 watching 747s go by
Oh, my...

Darwin would have been so proud
Yeah, Darwin would have been so proud
The way that fate plucked you right out of the gene pool
Darwin would have been so proud

If you’re one of the many wading in the shallow end
You don’t need to worry about dying in obscurity, friend
But the competition is getting tough, show some creativity
And remember all awards are given posthumously

The Highway Patrol found the wreckage burning at the base of the cliff
And a hundred feet up, a smoking crater where they figured a small plane had hit
But from the huge spot scorched on the asphalt
Three miles away straight down the road
They finally pieced together quite a different story
And this is what the record showed...

You were a surplus gadgetry junkie, and that week you pulled off quite a coup
You found an unused solid fuel booster rocket, figured it was made for you
You took your ‘67 Impala, welded that bad boy on top
Found a nice straight stretch of deserted highway and fired that sucker up
WOW...

Darwin would have been so proud
Yeah, Darwin would have been so proud
The way that fate blew you right out of the gene pool
Darwin would have been so proud